Rainbows and Shadows

Samudra

2012-01-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

Right now, every ounce of muscles in my body feels like physically grapple, clinch fight, throw, take down, joint locks, pins and maybe with luck, if there’s a tad bit of sympathy, I might consider settling down with a full body combat on you.

Oh, we won first place for galah panjang wuhuuuu Alhamdulillah, third place for baling selipar :D And unfortunately last place for netball. Lol okay bye.

Atlantic, Pacific, Celtic, Arctic

The volunteers

Cause Arctic's here to rule.

Michael Buble

2011-12-25T17:58:00.001+08:00

Nampaknya makin lama makin ramai yang balik Malaysia awal tahun depan. Papa, momy, kaklong, kakdis, abang, bby, serra, Mayang rinduuuuuuuuuuuu :'(

NAK BALIK JUGAK BOLEH TAK?

You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.

2011-12-25T12:02:00.001+08:00

Dear Mr handsome-tough sikit2-putih-perangai comel gila (don't blame me, this is how he's been described to me) guy, whatever your name is, this is for you.

Stay away from my sister, would you? Don't you dare messing with her. Why would you show up, by the way. Trying the best to win her heart? Duhhhhh lame. Takyah nak sweet talk sangat. If you really are sincere, show us what you've got. Convince us. Win our heart first! Be the guy who can guide her till the end, till Jannah. Don't tell her you can give a better life here in this Dunya, don't tell her to think about her happiness, just give the happiness to her! Jangan cakap banyak sangat, PROVE IT! Everyone has their own flaws, and as far as I know him for more than five years, he's a good man. Don't you dare take that away from us! Yes, they are totally two different person, and that's what we called as opposite attract. Knowing you for three months can't compare anything with the NINE years they have back then till now. Don't let her do any crazy decisions that she'll regret.

I am warning you! Do it the right way, mister! Stay strong, sister. Seek for Allah, He's always there to help. I love you.

Love is somehow, complicated. Haih.

Let’s Just Say, Grateful is All I’m in For.

2011-12-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

Jangan pernah takut untuk berubah menjadi baik. Allah akan hantarkan insan insan yang baik mengelilingi kita, bila kita terdetik untuk berubah.

:')

3 years of beautiful.

2011-12-19T23:01:00.001+08:00

That's how I look at it. 3 years of something really damn spectacular. Hell, we weren't perfect. There were dark days and days that I thought the sun couldn't compare to us. But we were this funky twist of fate that turned into a bond that couldn't be denied, only relished and cherished. Our end wasn't pretty. It wasn't simple. It wasn't painless (they never are). We both did things I thought we'd never do, in good ways and bad. We tried to recreate those 3 years, to go back there and steal maybe one more glint of light from that spark. But it wasn't the same, and after many trials, many different outcomes, we are over. It took something really big to show me that-that it was different, that our 3 years were something so incredible they couldn't be duplicated. But I want you to know, I want this to reach you-in losing you as my, err friend?, I finally see, after these months of indecision and fear (and yes, I'm still scared now) that I miss you as a person more than anything. The best friend I had in you is the part that I never want to lose. Our 3 years of beautiful are worth an eternity of memories, and the friendship that comes out of being that to someone, should never be lost. I'm not sure when we'll find what works, how we can still be close and not get hurt. But I hope we get there. I really hope we do. So know from here that I still love you, that I would always do anything for you and a large piece of my heart will always be yours. 3 years of beautiful. Thank you for those. Go out and live, show the world what I was lucky enough to see. I love you, forever kid.

What does not kill you makes you stronger.

2011-12-15T03:08:00.003+08:00

"Allah tidak mendugamu bukan kerana Dia mahu menyusahkan dirimu tetapi Dia ingin mengetuk hatimu yang tidak pernah lelah bermain dengan dunia agar dirimu kembali lurus pada jalanNya"

You don't have to get straight A's to pass medical school -Prof KJ

Alhamdulillah

2011-12-14T02:32:00.001+08:00

Ini sejarah kita. Not a single word can describe how wonderful it is. Awesomeee tau. Jazakillah everyone for helping me to become a better Muslim. Ukhwah Fillah :)

*mintak maaf kalau terlebih teruja sebab baru first time join.

Live in the moment

2011-12-06T11:53:00.001+08:00

It’s December, it’s been awhile.
The norm cycles, shifting through time dimensions, throwing back so-called-educational-self-slavery down my throat, meddling with life’s ductility, slurring cynical thoughts - never-ending process. Funny. When you look up to it, it’ll be in a blink, when you look down at it, it’ll be aaaaages.

The intensity of pouring my soul out is immensely large. But I can’t seem to find the right way to do it. I should try drowning self among the pillows.

Maybe I should start treating myself like a man so I’d be more manly and not whine so much.

The latest joy, Gokak Falls.

Tanda Allah sayang.

2011-12-02T22:23:00.001+08:00

It's wonderful that none of your family was hurt in this happening, perhaps this is a chance to come back bigger and better. Be strong, loves. Allah doesn't burden us with things that we can't bear.

"Barangsiapa yang Allah mahukan kebaikan untuknya, nescaya Dia akan mengujinya dengan kesusahan"

Slow down. now.

2011-11-30T20:02:00.001+08:00

So, September, October and November are way behind now. Well, November is just a day behind, but still. What’s in is December. Time changes what surrounds us, with very little notice as to what really happened around us. I’m not making much sense here. Blaaaaah.

Well, 2011 almost ended and half of it has passed by gloriously without self really taking in what’s rolled under the past. Or maybe it was taken in but not taken into use, yet. My point is, made a promise to self to make full use of what’s left. And right now, I’m highly stoked over our lavish plan. Waterfallssssssss. Shout out loud for the weekend yawww!

Gasp!

2011-11-29T02:22:00.001+08:00

It is the Tawakkal in Allah that is the torch of hope amidst the darkness of doubt, vulnerability and weakness.

"..put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)" -3:159

Good luck everyone! :)

Do you mind slowing down the volume? Please and thank you.

2011-11-27T17:10:00.001+08:00

They speak to each other on the top of their lungs like they have hearing impairment or something. They don’t play music or anything. They just talk. Really loud. Distracting tau tak! Erghhh.

The Impossible.

2011-11-26T00:34:00.001+08:00

I so need to reconnect with you.

Let it happen but don't let it end.

Half way done.

2011-11-23T19:44:00.001+08:00

Already?

Another weekend comes, another few days closer to whatever it is that we’re striving forward to.
And so the Selanjar tests is around the corner. Yes, already. It feels as if everything happened so quickly and subtly this time around that I have yet to have the chance to actually get a grip at things.

Classes has been something that I myself can’t describe. The rush, the speed, the surroundings, the teachers, everything seems to not fall in place as perfectly as they used to be. Mountains of stress piling up so overwhelmingly, expectations building up. But to whine and to complain is definitely not the way to get through things.

Come on now, self. TOUGHEN UP and get it over and done with!
No more mere talking, it’s time to walk the talk.
Yes, yes, yes.

Lapan bulan lagi.

2011-11-15T16:24:00.001+08:00

"At 7am today, I heard my door bell rings, I tought it must be the security but suddenly I saw a tall guy wearing a tshirt and shorts with slippers and a big luggage standing at the gate, it's my only son, Amirul came back home surprisely. Mummy terperanjat berok, we r so happy to see him but he is loosing weight a bit. We had our breakfast together." -Papa

-______________-

Abang balik tak ajak! Waaaa kakdis, jom balik Malaysia jugak :'(

p/s: Budak budak yang tak balik bulan 2 nanti, Mumbai and Kashmir jom? :')

I.am.going.crazy.

2011-11-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

2 months into the nerdy world and this is what I got from it.

I’ve been on a serious munching galore for the past week. And I think it is due to excessive amount of stress. No further explanation needed.

note to self:

STOP EATING

Cepat pergi daftar gym.

It won't slow down.

2011-11-03T03:18:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the weirdest things would suddenly make me realize that I'm not at home, and that I'm studying a million miles away from home, and that I'm in a stranger's country and suddenly everything starts to seem unrecognizable, sort of strange and out of place. Sometimes, the things that makes these rush of emotions would come from a stroke of a toothbrush, while I look at myself in the mirror, thinking this water, this toilet, these clothes that I'm wearing. What in the world am I doing being so far away? I guess this is how living-abroad reality strikes. And even after two long months, the surreal-ness of it creeps at the oddest time of the day, as if trying to remind me why I'm even here, in a toilet somewhere in the state of Karnataka, brushing my teeth with Indian water, wearing foreign clothes. I must admit, I am still finding my comfort zone.

I think I need to put up pictures of my dad all around the room to get me motivated. Plus, I'll feel like I'm being watched.

Eyes on the book, my dear.

I hear voices from behind the walls.

2011-11-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

"Sungguh, Kami menjadikannya (pohon zaqqum) sebagai azab bagi orang-orang zalim. Sungguh, itu adalah pohon yang keluar dari dasar neraka Jahim, MAYANGNYA SEPERTI KEPALA-KEPALA SETAN" (37:63-65)

Baca sambil mulut ternganga, rasa macam kena tikam sampai tembus :O

Rationalizing

2011-07-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

To explain my solitude,

we will have to go beyond simple logic.

Dream-high-way

2011-07-06T14:03:00.003+08:00

1. Certificates- check
2. Wang pos- soon to be checked
3. Formal attire- check
4. A prepared mental- yet to be checked

What more. USM-KLE, I can see youuu *waves from afar* Dream high, dream high. If you can't convince them, confuse them -__-"

And Yes, It Bothers Me

2011-06-25T15:26:00.003+08:00

THREE THOUSAND. THREE THOUSAND. THREE THOUSAND. Chill, bebeh!

O Allah! Please forgive us for our past and future sins, what we have hidden and what we have made apparent.

"Boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi
sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal
itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak
mengetahui."

2:216

No, Not My Fault.

2011-06-25T03:38:00.005+08:00

I hit someone's car today. Now, I'm scared.

.

She's Still a Teenager.

2011-06-25T02:59:00.002+08:00

Hate is sadness wrapped in razors and just because someone gets behind you doesn't mean they've got your back.

Sometimes I like being a little too far away so that when I come back, I feel welcomed. But then being too far away sometimes led me to pushing self way as it got me feeling out of place. And the worst part is the pushing part was done voluntarily by self. I should really shut the negativitism in me. It's doing nothing good except for killing me lika a barbecued rabbit =.=" I want to be close again.

This is not making any sense, I'm aware. Bottom point. I miss YOUS and the good old times okay? We’re all growing up, doing our own things, running our busy lives with all these crazy keep-ups you’re in line with. And surprisingly enough, I’m beginning to get aligned with it. I’ve always had a hard time embracing change because I wanted things to stay the same. Getting out of the comfort zone just freaks me out.

I am being thankful.

Seek and Don't Hide

2011-06-25T01:58:00.003+08:00

Once a Muslim scholar was flying to a country with an airplane. When the time for salah came, he went to the bathroom to make wudhu (ablution). Since the bathrooms in airplanes are very small, he had to open the door to lift up his foot to the sink. An air hostess came to him and told him not to wash his feet in the sink because they are dirty. The scholar calmly asked he hostess "How many times do you wash your face?" The hostess replied "Usually once or twice." Then the scholar replied "I wash my feet five times a day for prayers. Therefore, my feet are cleaner than your face."

Holiday Handcuffs

2011-06-22T02:11:00.003+08:00

I'm just a speckle of dust, in this gigantic world now. I'm going only where the air will take me, bring me down now.

You see, this is what you get when you put me at home with no nice TV show and only laptop and old books to entertain me. And so, another so-so nothing-much yeah-whatever day has passed. Let’s hope the rest of the days are a little bit better or I’m going to be in the news for ‘Girl Found Dead Out Of Boredom.’

Wake Me Up

2011-06-18T01:56:00.005+08:00

.
Vital note to self: I really need to spend less time social networking. I need to focus on one thing. Matlamat hidup. Perjalanan mencari hidayah menuju redha Allah.

Diri ini sedang mencari bekalan untuk persediaan menghadapi mati yang kita sendiri tidak tahu bila waktunya akan tiba. Bila terfikir betapa seringnya malaikat maut yang sentiasa berkunjung dan menatap wajah kita. 70kali dalam tempoh 24jam. Subhanallah. Ya Allah, rasa takut mulai muncul. Ajal itu adalah ketetapan Allah, yang telah termaktub, semuanya telah nyata di dalam takdir Allah, bahawa kematian pasti tiba pada saat yang ditetapkan. Izrail hanyalah tentera-tentera Allah yang menjalankan tugas seperti yang diamanahkan kepadanya.

“Tiap-tiap umat mempunyai ajal, maka apabila telah datang ajalnya mereka tidak dapat mengundurkannya barang sesaat pun dan tidak dapat ( pula ) mempercepatnya.”

(QS. Al-A’raf ayat 34)

Saya rindu. usrah. bulatan RS. rakan2 yang sentiasa mengingatkan kita kepada Allah. But on top of that, I miss you Allah and I miss you Rasulullah.

Dire and Desires

2011-06-18T01:14:00.003+08:00

content below contains brief random emotional rant

I have this feeling where each time I see photos or updates of a friend who studies abroad, I'd have this one kind of burning spirit within me roaring wanting to be in the same shoes. A mix blend of envy, inspiration, motivation and also anger. Been dreaming to further abroad ever since Allah knows when. But thing is, I know my strength and I'm aware of my limits. Wouldn't want to stumble hard not being able to reach up to my sky high dreams yet at the same time, not wanting to sit down low and have a stiff neck looking up to people around me making it to the top.

Oh, wait No. Announcement *ehemehem clearing throat*

Penghantaran pelajar2 kursus perubatan tajaan Mara ke India telah diberhentikan

Last month ran on me hard and left self with mouth wide open not knowing how to cope things up. To realize the barriers and challenges towards achieving dreams and goals is to be aware of where we stand and where we head to. You know that feeling you have when you lost touch of things and when things stumbled over each others' lines without reason and it all happened out of a sudden? Well I'm having one of those moments. In life, there's bound to be moments where you find yourself stuck and then just lose faith for a second. Some might decide to have a leap when some might just let it be and let what ever's to come be. I wish I could see myself in both so I'd know which to pick. But I couldn't. Life is all about taking chances and risks. To have regrets is not an anomaly. To have doubts is neither rule nor exception, it's nature. It's okay to be down as long as you know your way to get back up. It's not wrong to be lost as long as you let yourself out to be found. It's alright to mourn as long as you're aware there's a silver one despite having to face the dark black ones. It's okay loves, it's okay. Have only faith have only courage.

Hradec Kralove, Czech Republic -done! and failed :')

RCMP-Vinayaka -looking forward to

USM-KLE -Praying hard for interview and entrance exam. Aahh.

Back on Track

2011-06-16T03:36:00.009+08:00

Bismillahirahmanirahim :)

I realized I haven't been scriblling much on blogger lately. Must urge self to do so more since I'm on my holidays yeahh. I so need to reconnect with you. This blog is in need of some sugar spice. Lots of things have happened, there's just to many of them that I'm just gonna keep it to myself. Well, A Level's overrrr-ah *insert flipjacks, backflips and all sorts of happy stuffs* Truth to be told, it wasn't really good. It was tough, I guess they were not kidding when they say it's a true killer course. Oh well. Whatever it is, I shall succumb to it with great appreciation and gratitude.

For now, I see myself as someone approaching near my life goals. Holiday just started and I'm already craving for more college days. Ah, kidding. To talk about today, I'd say I did nothing much to be proud of, spent my days of holidays with waking up late, random jobless net browsing and a little marathon with some series. These hormones need to learn to behave. Tempting attempts eh. And I'm in a dire need to save up since there will be no allowance from the sponsorship for this few months onwards haih. Should I start looking for jobs?

I can't believe I'd actually state this but I miss college! Oh wait, maybe only the circle of friends I had there. Weeks go by like days. When the silence gets too loud, and I really start to miss everyone, I tell myself the same thing: I can't see you but I know you miss me too hehe. A little brief rounds of emotional breakdowns and then the next thing you know, I’d be soaring high with full blast spirit again. Thank you everyone. Putting aside all human greed quality, I couldn’t really ask for more. It was a great pleasure having all of you around, but the time has come. Move along, now.

A Place Called NUMED

2011-04-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

Tiba tiba rasa hati dah sebati dengan India. Nak pergi India! :)

Full course medic in Johor?

Will take into considerations.

To Bask in the Ambience of Her Stupidity

2011-04-04T20:20:00.003+08:00

I have bad dreams about A2.

And it scares me to hell.

Mengubah Kejadian.

2011-03-05T23:22:00.005+08:00

Tadi teserempak dengan seorang lelaki, uhuhh, tapi dalam tandas perempuan, OMG! A man in woman's attire, what do they called them? maknyah? And yes, he's a real nyah, not a transsexual woman. There's HUGE differences between transvestite and transsexual.

Terkejut gila, ingatkan salah masuk toilet. Taulah rupa macam perempuan, mind you, kau masih lagi lelaki. I am not being prejudist, I have nothing against these nyahs, but just don't show or declare yourself to the world, disturbing others privacy. There is no law of this country penalizes maknyah, note that. There is NO civil law that even whispers anything about transsexuals.

Sesungguhnya, Allah jadikan setiap makhluknya cantik. Janganlah kita mengubah kejadiannya.

Allah’s is the kingdom of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He pleases; He grants to whom He pleases daughters and He grants to whom He pleases sons. Or He makes them of both sorts, male and female; And He makes whom he pleases barren; Surely He is The Knowing The Powerful.

Leaving on a Jetplane

2011-02-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

Kena ke balik weyyhhhh? My big bro is going back to Aussie TOMORROW! Tiba2 kan rasa sedih, bilalah boleh jumpa lagi lepas ni? You are extremely intelligent. Go and finish your whatever business there and get your ass back home as soon as possible!

Saying goodbye will always going to be the hardest part :( I have said it before and I shall say it again, I love you mannnn. *mesti terharu kan* haha :D

Why am I Destined This Way?

2011-02-20T00:11:00.002+08:00

UK?
India?
Australia?
India?
UK?
Australia?
India?
Australia?
UK?

Tolongg! I'm in a really huge dilemma. Nak tapi takut. My dad asked me to give it a try first, tapi tak berani. Dapat, tak dapat tu hal kedua. Tapi mind set dah lain. Tak ready for other things. The real problem is, boleh ke? Tak salah ke? Tak langgar perjanjian ke? Mestilah boleh, kalau tak macam mana student lain boleh dapat. Rayuan lah! Warghh stress. Takde siapa nak teman. Nanti sorang2, takut. My mum cakap kawan boleh cari. Farewells and goodbyes will lead to more hellos and his. Masalahnya, still cuakkkkk. Layak ke? Tak leceh ke, mesti byk procedure. haihhh. Bantulah aku, Ya Allah :(

And They Live Happily Ever After

2011-02-19T18:18:00.007+08:00

Okayyy, hello everyone. Salam :) Whuhhhh haven't update this thing for a long time. Tak rajin andd takde benda yang menarik berlaku, finally ended up with thousands of empty drafts. I don't constantly have a new blogpost every single day. And I don't usually post interesting stuffs that's going on around the world, I only write things that are going in my world. Yes, a little self-absorb I believe (: Since I am not famous, so no one will read this and I am not here to please anyone, mind you (:

This is an extremely overdue post. I was going to blog about this couple of weeks ago, but getting it done is not exactly the easiest task -__- So, Fiza has gotten married on February 4th, and sadly, I couldn't go for I had to attend this family day that we had on that particular day which results on me getting a sunburn and also get humiliated for the dance performances OMG! They told me it was a beautiful ceremony of a very young couple, uhh ruginya tak dapat datang :( Fiza looked really beautiful, and happy, I can see from the pictures.

Congratulations, Hafiza! I couldn't be happier for you. I wish I could have been to your wedding though. Wishing you a great life ahead with your husband by your side, till the end of time. InsyaAllah :) I still can't believe that you're already married!

Look how sweet and innocent and pretty they are :)

PS: Siapa next Uninety yang nak kahwin? Hehe (:

Silence is Golden

2011-01-28T15:47:00.005+08:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I took your silence as a yes.
Could you at least do something to break this spell.

Latest Bundle of Joy

2011-01-28T00:03:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah. IELTS' result is finally out. So soon even the lecturers haven't got ours yet. Clap clap. A job well done to everyone. Alhamdulillah syukur ke hadrat Ilahi, I am more than grateful for what I have achieved. A million thanks to my IELTS lecturer, Miss Azidah for I would not be able to achieve this without her help, guidance, patience, for staying at college all night for us and of course, for her lectures (:

I am officially done with my IELTS and man, I do NOT want to go back to that phase, ever again. Ever. It was really hard, I had so many breakdowns, I can't really count how many times I burst into tears. Hoho. It was challenging both mentally and physically! And for that, I am really thankful for everything, thank you Allah. I am really glad with the final outcome. Knowing that everyone passes with flying colours, really put a huge smile on my face. Allah had given us the best of things all this time, thank you Allah. Thank you. Alhamdulillah. Congratulations everyone! :D rm550 is a big number for a value of money. Really.

*okay sekarang boleh cuti dengan gembira :D

Tunggang-langgang

2011-01-22T16:02:00.001+08:00

Ada exam dan sedang stress. Tolong! Tak habis-habis exam. Whyyy?

World War 3

2011-01-13T23:35:00.003+08:00

International English Language Test System.

Tomorrow, a day after tomorrow.

Speaking

Listening

Reading

Writing

Band 9?

Timbul Tanda Tanya

2011-01-13T23:30:00.002+08:00

Ada orang cakap saya skema.

Betul ke? -.-

Be Less Afraid

2011-01-12T09:45:00.004+08:00

Hari jumaat, sabtu ada Ielts. Minggu ni tak boleh balik lagi, oh that's not the point. Resah gelisah takut cuak gementar nervous, semuanya ada. So the speaking session is on the Friday and my turn will be at 11.10 in the morning with the first examiner! I am freakingggg out. Mock speaking dgn miss pun tak lepas2 lagi. Dah tiga kali, hancur, it was terrible. Miss A said that she is so worry about my performance later in the real exam. Takpe miss, saya punya tahap kerisauan jauh lebih tinggi dari miss.

I am in a grip of worries but I am dreaming the hardest. I am always afraid of failure, they have a word to describe those who fail. Loser. There's been many, many times that I question myself, do I have the ability to do this? What am I doing well? How can I improve? What can go wrong? It left me with huge question marks. I need to at least try to push myself in a better direction. I had to be my own cheerleader. I have come to the conclusion that I am not afraid of failure. I am just one of those people who likes to be the best at what I do, and always try to surpass my own goals.

"Ya Allah, persiapkan kami mengenai dengan urusan kami dengan petunjukmu. Kami memohon kejayaan dalam setiap ketentuan, tempat para syuhadah, kehidupan orang-orang bahagia serta kemenangan mengatasi. Jadikan dalam hati nur kecerdikan dan dalam pendengaran nur dan dalam penglihatan nur dan jadilah aku memiliki nur. Ya Allah, tiada perkara yang mudah melainkan Engkau jadikan mudah, Kau berikan kuasa menukarkan perkara yang susah agar menjadi senang. Berilah aku ilham petunjuk dan lindungilah aku dari kejahatan nafsuku. Wahai Tuhan yang membawa petunjuk, tunjuki aku ketika aku berada di dalam kegelapan"

InsyaAllah, good luck everyone! :)

Through ups and downs, and more down.

2011-01-01T16:50:00.006+08:00

HAPPY TWENTY ELEVEN!!

Another normal not-so-exciting new year celebration. Like usual! Duh, nvm much, I never really get the whole purpose of "new year nak pergi mana?" plans. But the best part was, i got to watch fireworks from my window. I can't believe it's 2011 already. I have been so caught up with everything.
.

2010 has definitely been a roller coaster ride for me. I made new friends, made my parents mad, made my parents proud, loved myself unconditionally, burnt the midnight oil for the examinations, learned a lot about life, learned that I need to respect myself, list goes on - I have experienced a lot.
.

With so many things going on, I struggle to keep up with everything. It's my world, and I'm shaping it my way. 2010 doesn't end well. Last week was a pain. It's nature, true, failure comes and go. Maybe this is the phase of my life. I'll do better, insyaAllah. Time heals things, no? Here comes the tears, I'll figure something. The future is full of both certainty and uncertainty. Deal with it.

Dua minggu, pray hard yo.

I am a Proud Sister

2010-12-26T14:26:00.003+08:00

I would like to wish my youngest sister a huge

CONGRATULATIONS!!

for her excellent results in PMR. You made us proud sis :D

Final Semester Yaww

2010-12-12T15:07:00.003+08:00

I am starting my fourth and final semester tomorrow. Final semester already? Where has the time flies? I survived three semesters, seems like it was just yesterday when I first stepped foot into college. Not going to be all mushy now, that have to wait until the end of this semester, which will be on this upcoming June. Yup, I'm graduating in June. Hehe yay! Six months to go.

But before that, I have to go through some major events in college. Last semester was really really hard, it was such a big dissapointment to me. I had so many breakdowns, I can't remember how many times I burst into tears. It was challenging, both mentally and physically. And for that, I am hoping I'll bounce back this semester and may He'll always guide me through the way, InsyaAllah.

So what awaits me this semester:

-IELTS, 15th and 16th January.
-Mid Semester Examination
-Pre A2, somewhere in April
-A2, in May and June, which will decide whether I'm going to India or not. Be scared!

I'd better start studying for my IELTS, I am not planning to repeat this exam which will costs me rm550. Mana nak dapat duit tu, haih. I should start practicing my reading, listening and writing skills. And the most important, part speaking test! cuak cuak, cakap English pun tergagap-gagap lagi, ada hati pulak nak ambik exam.

-.-

Kita Bebas Terbang Laksana Burung

2010-12-12T09:43:00.005+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish every Muslim Salam Maal Hijrah. I know I am six days late, but I went to Meru for BTN last Monday, hence explaining my disappearance lol.

I came back on Friday and arrived more or less around 2pm. BTN was just fine. Apa lagi yang boleh dikatakan, setiap hari cerita pasal perlembagaan. Ye, tanah air, kedaulatan, undang-undang, seronok kan? It is just not my thing. Ceramah masa kertas kerja tak pernah tak tidur. Setiap hari nyanyi lagu Menara Bangsa, kita bebas terbang laksana burung, terikat hanya di tali cinta. Haha, I just love this part. 5 hari 4 malam, tak pernah pergi kem lama macam ni. Setiap hari counting days nak balik. Handphone, MP3, Camera, semua benda elektronik kena rampas. Lima hari tanpa dunia luar, rasa terseksa jugak la.

Yang pergi bukan group kitorang je. Ada jugak students dari IMU, KYUEM and Intec, and a total of 130 students, 14 facilitators, 6 or maybe 7 coaches, mereka memang hebat, pakcik2 yang dah berumur tapi masih bertenaga especially Pak Mus yang ajar kitorang bertinju and berkawad kaki. Tag nama pulak setiap masa kena pakai, betul2 macam budak sekolah dengan uniform hitam putihnya sekali dengan kasut hitam. Pagi and petang ada senaman,lari lari tinggi lagi. Tak sempat buat flying fox/abseiling sebab hujan lebat plus kilat. Kecewa kecewa. Pukul 5.15 pagi dah kena bangun setiap hari, lepas tu malam pukul 1 or 2 pagi baru boleh tidur, siren yang teramatlah kuat yang kejutkan kami disebabkan takde phone untuk set alarm. Kalau setiap hari macam ni, agak2 boleh pecah eardrum jadi pekak terus. Tensi setiap kali dengar siren. Pagi petang asyik lah berbunyi. Tinggal dalam dorm 18 orang, tidur katil double decker, Dorm Magma 2, bila dah ramai taulah kan macam mana keadaan dia. Best tidur dalam dorm. Tapi, tempat tu memang selesa, takdelah rasa teruk sangat. Makan enam kali sehari, terbaik. Tidur tak pernah cukup, masa takde satu saat pun yang terbuang, kelam kabut selalu, nak mandi pun kena rushing. Penat, balik rumah terus qadha tidur sepanjang hari. Games je yang paling best, and we did some poco-poco, chicken dance and bertinju. The last night of LDK was really something. Tiba-tiba rasa patriotik lah kan pergi berjuang menentang penjajah, kena baling air, kena baling kertas. Seronok dapat berperang baling2 kertas sebab nak merdeka, pergi kepung penjajah yang sangat lah jahat tak berperikemanusiaan dan terlebih emosi. Tension, ramai jugak yang meleleh air mata, kena maki hamun, kena psycho, yang kena tangkap, oh lagi2 masa nyanyi lagu Warisan. See, ada jugak semangat kenegaraan dalam diri masing2. Last day ada exam. Fuhh, empat hari belajar, banyak perkara perlembagaan kena ingat, study pun macam tak study, masuk dewan exam, tak sampai sejam ramai dah siap. Lepas exam barulah nampak muka2 happy semua orang sebab nak balik. Nasib baiklah ada sijil penyertaan. My dad came and picked me up that day, and this is how i spend my holiday in Meru, Klang. Harap2 takkan kembali lagi ke sini except kalau nak further studies lagi. Siapa2 yang nak pergi BTN, siap sedialah dari segi mental dan fizikal ;)

This is the last day, and it was the best day!

Wedding Ding Dong Bell

2010-12-12T08:38:00.006+08:00

And so it seems like everyone around me is getting married. Okay not everyone but you get the point. Today, my cousin is getting married, and she's only 20! or maybe 21(?)

A friend of mine is getting married somewhere around January or February, at the age of 20 with someone older than her and he's a final year medic student! uhhh uhhh. I couldn't be happier for her. Early marriage, eh. Congratulations, wishing you a great life ahead of you, with you future husband by your side, till the end of time. I still can't believe that you're getting married. Hehe, new adventures await.

And so it got me thinking, among all of us, who would first get hired? And later on, who would finally tie the knot first? Who would have baby/babies first? Doing a deep thinking of it gives me goosebumps! Look at us we're only 19, and who knows, in 3 to 4 years come, one of us would get married.

Isn't the tought of it is scary? And then we'll start our own family. Raise our kids, get mad at our kids, be proud of our kids, brag about them, take them to shopping, set up a playdate for them, exchange recipes to cook for our husband, sleepover at one of our places because we fight with our husband. haha.

Before we know it, all this will end, the fun that we're having in college, the freedom to go to anywhere that we like at any time. After this, the world responsibility would be associated with us all the time, although we'd have money, we won't have time to pamper ourselves, because we'd busy entertaining our kids and husband. Most important of all, would we still be able to gossip and hang around TOGETHER when we would like to? It's going to be different. And the worst part is that we have no idea when to expect this. It might be starting next year, it might be in 7 years, no matter how long it takes but when it's time, will we be ready? Like really ready?

So, who will be married and start a family first? Who would start to bail out from a Ladies Night Out first? Who would start to have a big responsibilities first? Who would be missed first? Who would first change their title from Miss to Mrs? It could be you. Surprise me! haha.

;)

I Never Thought

2010-12-12T03:29:00.005+08:00

Aku dah kenal kau lama tapi tak perlu la kan kau nak rahsiakan dari aku benda ni. Bukan sekali dua aku tanya, tapi banyak kali. Kau nak cakap aku busy body, cakaplah. Teman tapi mesra, huh. Aku tak kisah lah. Benda dah jadi kan. Aku pun dah tau semuanya and yes honestly, I am heart broken. Bukan kau yg bagitau aku, nak tunggu kau cakap, sampai bila2 pun takkanlah, kau pun tau kan. Aku yang dapat tau sendiri, menyedihkan kan. Ha. Apa aku nak buat sekarang ni? Nak aku biarkan je, buat2 macam aku taktau langsung? Aku bukan orang macam tu lah.

I have my own pride. I hate talking about this because I don't know how to handle this and I'll end up crying. This is not the kind of life that I want. I refuse to focus on these tiny bits of my life that guarantees no good in my future whatsoever. Rimas. Yes, I admit, it was really hard for me at first to swallow the fact about you, both of you but I did. I thought I knew you. But then, I was totally ignored. Mungkinlah kau busy ke apa tapi please, just one simple question takkan tu pun kau tak boleh nak jawab. Most probably it is not the right idea to write it down here. It is so frustrating when you compare yourself to others. It is so disappointing when you think you are better than everyone else. Why am I repeating this phase again and again. What is there to break when it's already broken. Thank you for that mister. I promised myself that I wont cry for a jerk nor for anyone, but I couldnt do it, I guess I'm not strong enough to pull myself together. I break down and cried, cried my heart out till there's nothing left. Know what, I don't trust you anymore. You know this, lies destroys the core of the relationship and it destroys it at all levels. Once you betrayed my trust, things can never be the same, even if you try. And pretence becomes too tiring after a while. I wasn't born yesterday and my forehead doesn't have a tattoo saying 'STUPID'

Today, I learn something new. I have recently finally been making it over many bumps and turns in my life. My image may not be perfect but who cares, it's my life. I have refreshened and started over with it, and let me tell you, it is perfect. I've been slowly changing. It's not because of you, it's for myself, for my own good. Yes, I want to change. And please I don't want to listen anything form you anymore. I've waited too long and now, I'm done with you, thank you for this amazing two years.

It's time to go and deal with life.

2010-12-05T22:50:00.002+08:00

It's funny how time flies by really fast without you even knowing how fast it goes. I'll be pretty busy for the time being. Another few hours to go, and Hello Meru, Goodbye Home.

Biro Tatanegara

Sepatutnya ini masa untuk bergembira di rumah, bukan untuk berkawad kaki menggelapkan diri bawah cahaya matahari. Lima hari, harap2 berbaloi cuti terkorban untuk BTN. Satu Malaysia! -__-

Semester Break Yo!

2010-11-26T08:57:00.002+08:00

Yes, already. A week of final-sem break and a week of BTN -____- Exam is finally OVERRR. I just hope I didn't fail all subjects because the questions was HARDD like really hard and I did not manage to complete all the questions and yeah sangat stress.

*Is preparing myself for a holiday with the family :D

See these eyes, it means FOCUS.

2010-11-22T07:23:00.003+08:00

It's Monday. I'll be sitting for my final papers for four days! and then I'll be back home on my comfy bed. With my mind fully occupied with studies, it still manages to have that little amount of space to think about my life which pretty much isnt going so well at the moment. I just wish for this semester to end. No, for A-level to end. Tak patut tengok seniors 1 1/2 years yang dah habis A2 sedang enjoy habis-habisan. Rasa sedih.

22nd- Biology

23rd- Physics

24th- Mathematics

25th-Chemistry

Wish me luck!

Bila Raya, Kita Makan.

2010-11-17T13:12:00.003+08:00

Menu for today :

-Spaghetti

-Mee Goreng

-Pulut kuning + kari

-Lemang + rendang

-Nasi impit + kuah kacang

-Kek Batik

-Popia sardin

-Puding roti

-Cocktail

-Sunquick Oren

-Kek Sandwich Strawberry

-Tapai

It's cooked with 110% love. Kenyang.

*My family is coming = Akan makan lagi -.-"

To All Beautiful Muslims

2010-11-17T10:49:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA :D

This is my first Eid without family EVER, but so glad I had friends in KTT to spend the day with.

Di pagi raya :')

Crooked, With a Little Love.

2010-11-07T00:43:00.003+08:00

We're glad you're back and you make us complete again. Welcome home. Andd, thank you for that little present you gave me, I love you :)

A Beautiful Mess.

2010-11-02T17:25:00.002+08:00

Somewhere between our laughs and jokes, I fell in love.

:)

Dear Amazing Person.

2010-11-02T16:19:00.005+08:00

Happy 57th Birthday, Papa :)

My dad has always been an important role in my life. He provides almost everything that he is possible to in order to make her daughter happy. (: He rarely says no when I request for things. I don't know whether it's true but I think a father and his daughter will always have that special bond regardless of anything else. My dad is always able to comfort me with his words when I lash out about my horrific day towards him, although his response would be nothing more than just a "That's okay", it feels so good to hear it coming from him. I feel cared and loved. I may not get to give you a big warm hug, but I pray that you'll be surrounded by love and happiness. I pray that Allah will protect you throughout every second of the day and may He protect you from harm's way.

I'm thankful for having an amazing father.
I'm thankful to Allah that I am one of those blessed ones whom has grown up with a father-figure.
I'm thankful for having someone as my pillar of strength throughout my 19 years.
I'm thankful for having someone in my life I know I can run to, when the going gets tough or when it feels like the world has gone against me.
I'm thankful for having someone in my life whom has never failed to uplift my spirits or to fuel that spark within me when I am discouraged.

But most of all, I guess I'm just thankful I have you in my life. I've been blessed enough to have you watch me grow up, to watch me blossom into a young lady. And as every daughter needs a father, you were there when I needed you. You were there to encourage me to strive for the best, to put effort into what I love doing and to achieve greater things. Truth be told, I wouldn't have gotten through what I have if it weren't for you. I'm never gonna stop needing you in my life. Time flies by faster than a blink of an eye and by each second, I'm growing up.

On this November 2nd, 2010, I would like to wish my dad HAPPY 57th BIRTHDAY!! Thank you for all of your hard work, for providing food on the table, for giving me pocket money every single week, for filling my handbags with gadgets, for getting me those bags to fill in with gadgets (hehehe), for believing in me, for loving me, for being there for me during the hard times, for everything. You will always be the best dad to me. I love you so much, Papa. Have a great birthday!! And more to come! (:

:)

Tell Me What is Missing.

2010-10-31T01:19:00.003+08:00

It sucks, when everything is doing so fine, then it all crashes again. I really don't want to try and put it all together back again, I am letting go. Why can't you just realise your mistake, admitting it and at the very least, TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT?, And last but not least, not repeating the same stupid mistake? I don't think I'll ever look at you the same way just like I did before. I have a solid reason to leave now. I don't deserve to be treated like crap, I'm done and I am ending this. You're right, we're just one big walking disaster. I don't expect you to see every single thing through my perspective. Just because I'm gullible, doesn't mean I can be cheated. Relationships are a mess, I've never seen the whole point of it. And, I am out of words. Goodbye.

10.10.10

2010-10-10T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hello. It's a Sunday and oh, it's my birthday. So what do you know, I am finally 19. I made it! (: Yes, i have turned 19 on October 10th, 10/10/10. Cool kan date ni :D

The sad thing is, birthday this year sangat lousy, despite the presents and wishes that I received from some old friends, family, cousins and strangers. Thank you to every single one of you pretty faces for all the wishes. Adalah sangat terharu :) Last year's was better, it was much much better. Maybe it's because I spend it in college where no one is here to celebrate it with me. Bertambah sedih lagi bila family yang mula mula nak datang sini terpaksa cancel plan last minute sebab ada hal kot. Oh sangat sedih. Memang lah tak expect celebration yang grand. But it was okay. No big deal.

So there you go, how i turned 19, my belasan terakhir. Let's make next year's better. First time being a puluhan, kenala special, okay. Happy birthday to me!

Thank you for spending most of your time with me. You really made my day.

Love.

2010-10-04T19:46:00.004+08:00

On this October 4th, 2010, I would like to wish my Mom HAPPY 57th BIRTHDAY!!

Thank you for all of your hard work, for believing in me, for being there for me during the hard times, for everything.

You will always be the best Mom to me. I love you so much, Mummy. Have a great birthday :)

Andd alsoo, I would like to say, GOODLUCKK, to my lil sis, for her upcoming PMR. Tomorrow la, pergi belajar haih! Make us proud babyyy. Bb, iphone, free shopping, and oh colourful candies haha are waiting for you. Nak mintak apa lagi? Oh ini melampau. Goodluck!

Inspired.

2010-10-02T01:04:00.004+08:00

Johor was AWESOMEEE :) It was a bliss, I must say, spending most of the days with a wonderful family. LOVE.

Johor.

2010-09-25T08:21:00.002+08:00

Two days. Spending the whole weekend in Johor. Hope it will be great, most probably it will because I am away from college. Big smile on the face.

Jangan Kalah Pada Masalah.

2010-09-19T02:37:00.003+08:00

I think i might be having too many unresolved internal conflicts. Secrets # one : Never get too attached, or you'd end up falling hard when you get detached.

I'm in a state where I personally feel detached from everything that I do and everyone around me. At times, I feel neglected deep inside, yet I was still able to carve a smile on my face to put on an image that would obscure how I was really feeling deep inside. I was totally ignored, I felt invisible so I decided to leave because having me there or not won't make any difference. I'm in the verge of exploding therefore it must come out. And that sucks. Fooh.

You know the feeling of trying to do somebody a good deed by sacrificing your own pleasure but not getting anything in return while that somebody jumps in the air and drowns me in the water simultaneously because that somebody is too clueless to even realize.

Would you people even bother to read if I burst out my inner feelings here?

No.

Emo la kau. Sudah-sudah la tu T___T

Happy Aidilfirtri.

2010-09-09T00:22:00.005+08:00

This blog of mine has been ignored for the longest time.

Mummy fainted this morning. She's exhausted, stressed out with her work, with the boutique, all the unfinished orders, the customers yang tak habis habis mengamuk. Haihh it's been a hectic Ramadhan. She is currently warded at Damansara Specialist Hospital. Maybe this year we'll celebrate Hari Raya in the hospital. *nangis*

Anyhow, I would like to wish you all,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri :)

And if in any ways at all I might have wronged or offended any of you with the things I have written in here, or in any other ways at all.

Jari Sepuluh disusun, Mohon Maaf Zahir Batin.

Enjoy the time spent with your loved ones!

Have a great Aidilfitri everyone.

Mental Note

2010-09-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

I drafted too mant short posts lately. I'll publish them later. I will, most probably. So yeah.

Side note: Oh bertemu Sein lagi hari ni, seperti lelaki Melayu terakhir. Awh.

A Compilation of Everything.

2010-08-18T18:03:00.006+08:00

Life holds thousands of surprise for us all. Macam-macam orang ada, serious cakap.

Fakers paling ramai. Dua muka. Belakang cerita macam-macam. Depan bukan main baik.

Tak paham macam mana orang boleh jadi plastik sampai macam tu sekali? For those who know me, for those who are close to me, they would know that once I've made up my mind about someone, the damage is permanent. Nothing anyone can say can change a thing about it. There's no turning back.

Tak tau lah kalau in the future I will change my prinsip ke, but for now, it is what it is.

But I don't hate people on a regular basis! Hate is such a strong word. Kalau setakat menyampah, sakit hati tu adalah, hate only applies on certain people yang memang dah over the limits! Sometimes I can't help to feel annoyed, sometimes I can't help but to feel irritated.

Every action has it own consequences okay? Tak nak tanggung, jangan buat. As simple as that.

Apa nak jadi bila semua orang dah tak appreciate asal usul sendiri.

Everyone wants a second chance. But does everyone deserve it? Yeah, maybe evryone does. I used to believe in that. I used to give everyone that second chance that I thought they deserved. But in the end, those second chances bite me in the ass. Those second chances hurt me the most. Those second chances put me in the most vulnerable state.

Losing a friend is not easy, but forgiving someone whole-heartedly is not easy as well. It takes a lot of courage to start believing again, it takes a lot of sincerity to start fresh, it takes years to truly forget, and that is not something that I am capable of. Especially when it was already his/her third chance.

So there you go, a compilatuon of everything. May the bridges I burn light the way. And this, this is just another day of my life.

It is Finally Out.

2010-08-13T15:55:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting for it all month long anf it is finally out. Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat Ilahi, I am more than grateful for what I have achieved. My expectation was lower, thus getting such result really made my day.

20. This is more than enough.

Thank you Allah. I am very thankful for everything.

Don't give up, don't lose hope.

A Year Has Gone.

2010-08-12T01:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Fasting Everyone :) Ramadhan Al-Karim.

OMG OMG!

2010-08-11T23:50:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow. AS Results. Nerves, nerves, nerves.

Insert interval hopes and wishes to walk along the aisle of success. InsyaAllah.

Current heart condition: Still breathing. Inhale. Exhale. I shall hit the bed and let the dream play by itself. Simple.

Sweet Dreams and Beautiful Nightmare.

2010-08-06T18:19:00.004+08:00

It was supposed to be exciting. But it turns out the other way round. Insert positive thinking.

Love, or maybe the only illusion of it? Still thinking. Trying to narrow it to one solid resolution. One that i can really rely on and realize. Questions mark in line, yes, in line.

Hide and Don't Seek.

2010-07-27T10:51:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if anythings absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, gray. Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of bad luck. Illness, injury, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. A day full of tests and obstacles.

Oh screw you si pencuri kasut.

Sometimes, somehow.

2010-07-21T17:21:00.003+08:00

Life is everything but fair.

I Hate It When I Miss Things Too Much.

2010-07-16T17:42:00.003+08:00

It's bad enough that I'm sort of stranded alone. But it's even worse seeing them hanging out and spending time so much together.

Everyone is happy with me out of the picture. Ish. Damn you jealousy.

Bravo Spain.

2010-07-12T05:26:00.002+08:00

World Cup is overrr. No more staying up. Victory for Spain! :D

Ohh, I should let myself get some sleep now. Yawns Have Become Kings.

Ouch.

2010-07-12T01:24:00.003+08:00

It Feels Like An Elephant Just Have A Marching Practice On My Head.

It hit me hard.

Secrets can eat you up and eventually kill you.

In whatever ways, it will in the end.

It won't be explainable at times, it just happens.

Oh boy, I believe that now.

Ibu dan Anak.

2010-07-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

Satu. Dua. Tambah lagi tiga. Akhirnya semua mati. Satu angkara angkatan semut, habis dimakannya. Dua, mati lemas agaknya. Dijumpai terapung2 dalam kolam. Yg ketiga? Hm tak diketahui. Tiba tiba dah jadi keras macam batu. Inilah dia yang terjadi bila diabaikan oleh ibu bapa. Kita dah cuba sedaya upaya nak selamatkan, tapi susu ibu tak sama seperti susu Dutch Lady. Agaknya, dia kena cirit birit, bak kata doktor yg ditemui, susu tak sesuai untuk diminum. Newborn katanya. Nak buat macam mana, riwayat berakhir dalam tanah juga. Semuanya selamat ditanam depan rumah.

Kalau taknak jaga anak, janganlah lahirkan anak. Haih.

Two Four Six Eight.

2010-07-12T00:34:00.002+08:00

So World Cup is ending soon. One last match in a few bit and then we all have to get back to reality. I have a 9.00 morning class tomorrow but my lecturer cancelled the class, I have a feeling it's because of the World Cup! Haha, naahhh.

Anyhow, by now I'm pretty sure that all of you have heard of Paul the Octopus. Right. He has caused quite a commotion, a weird nickname who is really good at predicting the World Cup's result, I have no idea, ahhhh merepek merepek. Kebetulan saja si sotong tu! :)

LET'S GO SPAIN! (:

One More Year.

2010-06-27T19:05:00.000+08:00

New semester, new breath. We are the seniors, we are ALU! Whoahhh.

KTT is LOVEEEE, not. -_-"

I Found A New Love.

2010-06-24T09:37:00.003+08:00

Ground me in these and I'll die in peace.

Is It Possible To Have An Overdose Of Happiness Dose?

2010-06-24T00:21:00.006+08:00

As of now, lavish plans are obediently rolling on the right tracks. Just the way I like it. Hoping for the rest of it to pave in smoothly. Awhh, I'm willing to trade all my tomorrows if I could have one yesterday.

Awak, I love youuu :D Thank you, thank you, and thank you for today! and you yess, we'll meet up sebelum awak fly. Wajib! I am missing you both <3 I miss Subang. Memories. It's amazing how things can change in a second.

Oh, I like Toy Story 3 :)

Unjust

2010-06-20T16:22:00.003+08:00

Mentally and physically exhausted. Beat.

I guess some things are just meant to be the way it is and nothing one can do to alter or change it for the better no matter how much that one person desires so. All those months of love and care and tenderness will now be swooshed away just like that. I didn’t even see it coming and now I’m punished for life. I tried, but results were to a non, still.

But I’ll keep trying.

I’M NOT SAYING IT’S GOING TO BE EASY, I’M SAYING IT’S GOING TO BE WORTH IT.

One day, my time will come. It has to come, it has to, one or another. One day, one day.

Oh by the way, Happy Father's Day Papa. I Love you :)

Iblis? Jin? Syaitan?

2010-06-17T23:13:00.002+08:00

Since Allah had made Adam His Vicegerent on Earth and blessed mankind with Prophets and Books, so Iblis asked Allah : "And what is my Book?" Allah replied : "Your Book is Wasyam (tattoo), your recitals are syair (sajak or poetry), your messengers are fortune-tellers, your food is that on which Allah's name has not been mentioned, your drink is that which intoxicates, your words of truth are nothing but lies, your home is bathroom or toilet, your shares are women, your call to prayer is the flute aand your mosque is the market-place."

(Hadith narrated by Thabarani)

oh no no no

2010-06-16T15:27:00.008+08:00

Serra dah balik JB. Awhh kami RINDU budak kecik ni. Dear kakak sulung, SILA bawa permaisuri ni pulang ke KL dengan kadar segera. Sekian, terima kasih :)

Aren't We All Glad That It's Over?

2010-06-11T00:36:00.002+08:00

Wohoo. I'm DONE. AS is finally over. HELLOOO full fledged entertainment. And oh yes, semester breaks. The awaited moment arrived, but the feeling is inexplicable. Got my mind working like a bull trying to figure things out. I am looking forward to many things. In high hope of merry things to gradually self-form.

Vacations with err families? or maybe not. Everyone needs a break after being through the storm and rain to get through where we stand today. A self pat in the back is simply insufficient.

Another lavish plans, girlfriends and where to? Aaah just the thought of it is, bliss bliss bliss. Miss bonding with them, extremely top in the list.

Short term ones, good food consumption. And a good cinema spamming too. But first, where do I find a money maker or a money tree?

She Said.

2010-05-27T18:22:00.002+08:00

Worrying too much is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it gets you no where. So, NO WORRiES. Two weeks left.

Back to business

2010-05-22T15:29:00.002+08:00

I'm back! Kembali ke KTT. Haihh. Oh library dah ade FREE wifi. Woot woot :D

Bila duduk kat rumah tak boleh study. Selalu main je. Ade je distraction. Exam hari tu pulak susah2 belaka. Boleh mengalir air mata. Takotnya. Risau. Hmm. Insaf dah, selagi AS tak habis, selagi tu tak boleh balik rumah. T_T

Harap2 next exam boleh buat. SEVEN to go. InsyaAllah.

"Maka bertawakallah kepada Allah setelah kamu berusaha, jika Allah tidak membantumu, siapa lagi yang akan membantu?" :)

What did you say?

2010-05-13T01:12:00.004+08:00

AS sudah start! whooh.. One down, ten papers left. Save me!

Pure Mathematics - OVER!

Next - Biology.

I am currently fighting a hard battle for FIVE weeks.

Still Not There Yet

2010-04-25T01:29:00.002+08:00

All these years of talks and self motivation on self confidence and identity search and being who you should be and who you wish to be and the common constant confusion is still leading me nowhere near me.

I'm well aware of what I want, yet I am totally lost as how to get there. And again, all these only lead me to where I was and not where I will be.

AS. 17 days left. Cheers to the Nerdy days. I am NERVOUS. SOS.

I need 4A's please. InsyaAllah.

Oh, and after a million of contemplations, I've decided to stay instead.

*inhale, exhale*

kelahiran roh baru

2010-04-15T23:31:00.003+08:00

Tun Serra Nabiha :) My first ever niece. 4kilogram tu. Bulatnya. Hoping you'll grow up into a healthy and beautiful, gorgeous young girl!

This is scaring me, mad world.

2010-03-21T08:31:00.006+08:00

Fuyooo. Dah bersawang dah blog ni. Well, it's not my fault that I'm super busy and I have no time to blog. Updates. So here it goes.

This month has not been treating me well, at all. I've been busy most of the time. Last week, last weekend, next weekend, the consecutive days of that week, the weekend of that week. So yeah, seems like forever isn't it. My calendar of March and this upcoming April is full, everything is messed up. This will continue going on until AS is over. Sigh.
.

Festival Seni is over, and it ended up that the Blue Avatar won the overall prize. Yeah yeah congrats to them. But we did get first place for few competitions. oh, we rock yes! And Feskott starts tomorrow. A week of Feskott, sampai hari Ahad kot! Everyday training, penat. Btw, good luck Yellow Team, and goodluck netball team! (:

And not to forget, pre AS is geting closer by the minute and everyone is struggling with their final preparations as we don't have enough time to study! Trial is just one week away, but heck, I just realised that I am not prepared at all. I am stressing out. Three weeks of examinations. I am so runsing and pening. Okay, drama gila. It means that I won't be home for four weeks! whatt. Big sigh. I'm going back to college in a few bit. Byebye.

GOOD LUCK everyone. All the best :)

p/s: To mr fiq, haha I've watched Alice and Solomon Kane. Dare me loser! I won :P

I might be right

2010-03-21T08:13:00.004+08:00

Some people that I know are slowly changing. Some people who I once thought were really great, really don’t seem so great to me anymore. Eh, that’s life.

I might be wrong. Either way, it's terrible.
Things seem to slowly change these days,
We didnt talk that much as often,
We didnt even text each other as much as how we used to.

Truth is,
I miss you.

Counting the hours.

2010-02-21T00:34:00.004+08:00

It's been a hell of week. Busy with kenduri, abang and stuffs. Sepuluh hari bercuti, hanya sentuh buku sekali-sekala je. Itu pun sentuh je. Haihh. Tak ada rasa teringin untuk pulang ke KTT langsung. Can I stay? I miss home already :( Abang dah pergi, Kakdis pun dah balik Johor. Rasa sunyi je rumah. I'm leaving too, soon. Nasib baik dapat balik minggu depan, nak pergi Penang. Tak rasa excited pun. Perlu ke?

You know what. It's not the same without you.

Bon Voyage

2010-02-20T15:44:00.005+08:00

Dear brother,
.

Now you're leaving on a jetplane, didn't expect it to be this soon. Just take a good care of your health and your safety over there. It's sad that you're leaving. Sydney is FAR away from home. You've never been so far from home. Dah tak boleh ulang alik rumah setiap minggu like you used to. Sydney bukan macam Melaka and Seremban. We're going to miss you, a LOT. We know you'll succeed in everything you do. Good luck! We are so proud of you. Love you, abang!

p/s: I want to fly too! I want it now.

This and that

2010-02-13T21:33:00.007+08:00

Yeah, I've been tagged. Setelah sekian lama, baru berpeluang untuk menyiapkannya :)

Rules: once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 1o people to be tag.

1. I always look at people's clothes. I could sit for hours doing nothing but watch people go by in their fashionable garbs.

2. I wish I have a walk-in closet full of colourful shirts and faded pants.

3. I love shopping. Bought lots and lots of things, yet, it's never enough.

4. When I am REALLY mad, I would just simply stop talking and I would do my own thing. And when I say stop talking, I mean literally, not a word, nothing.

5. I will definitely cry when things upset me.

6. I hate when people saw me crying.

7. And sometimes I just have to pretend that I'm happy just to stop everyone from asking what hell happened.

8. When I am away from public, I would stare at the mirror and do nothing.

9. I'm friendlier than it seems.

10. I do care when people talk bad things about me. And I can be very sensitive.

11. I don't like going anywhere alone.

12. I wish I could be more independent.

13. I hate staying in KTT on weekends. Seriously, there's nothing, NOTHING, that we can do to entertain ourselves. Really.

14. That is why I will definitely go back home during weekends. Almost every week.

15. I am afraid of height.

16. I could not sit still or stand still for a long period. Body cramps everywhere.

17. I just don't understand why people love to make up stuff in order to make themselves look big and awesome. This als0 applies to people who love to twist and manipulate the truth and facts into their favor.

18. I would listen to one particular song over and over again.

19. Chore I hate the most would be taking out the garbage. Geli air meleleh-leleh and ulat sampah everywhere!

20. I watch cartoons with my big brother.

21. I simply love books. Give me a good book and I'll keep quiet.

22. My mood swings sucks.

23. I try not to keep secrets from my sisters, because I think I can't. Mereka suka korek rahsia orang.

24. When I fall for a person, I fall hard. And I'll keep it to myself although I'm super excited!

25. I don't wear make up because when I do, my hands will rub something off.

I'm tagging EVERYONE. Yes, do it people!

when will it ever end?

2010-02-01T16:26:00.004+08:00

yeah I'm back, to KTT, great. Now what? I don't know what to do. Where to begin? It's Monday and we have only, ONLY one class for today. And we got a new timetable, AGAIN. Sigh. 8 hours straight classes from 8 to 4 on Thursday? 4 hours long break till the next subject on Tuesday? Oh whatever, who cares.

****

I have seen this coming.

I can smell it.

The end is nearing. And I'm not preparing myself to welcome it.

Just dig a hole and put your big fat ass there. Penatlah tau tak.

ps: do NOT avoid me, we should cross path each other in the future. We deserve that much. At least.

Restless

2010-01-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

I'm sitting in my living room listening to the people around me talking. All of them sound so busy with their own stuffs. I, on the other hand have been doing absolutely nothing since this evening.
For the past few hours, I have been :

1. Surfing the net.
2. Reading novel.
2. Making stupid jokes.
3. Merapu dengan Sha.
4. Talking to myself.
5. Messaging people like mad due to me being so unbelievably bored.
6. Eating and chewing stuffs.
7. More surfing the net.
8. Berangan itu ini, which is so not good.
9. Fiddling with my phone.

I.will.simply.drop.dead.

Or maybe I should start revising again. Mid sem is over, AS? In a few months. I need to sleep.

Lets's not ruin the weekend.

2010-01-09T15:24:00.007+08:00

Currently I am all alone in my house waiting for everyone to come back home. Waking up late and realise, everyone is gone. Supposed to be studying because I have exam coming but I'm having a brain malfunction right now. I am hungry.

Yesterday night I watched Paranormal Activities, with my sister and abg Zaim. The movie's good, scared me to death, I was covering my eyes the whole time, a bit boring at first but it gets scarier and scarier, and I end up screaming at the end of the movie. Damn you ghost. Ehe, the actual plan was to watch Sherlock Holmes, but bila da dekat counter the tickets were sold out and she blamed me for being late -.- We had to made a sudden change. Pfft. I need more movies.

Rancangan tak berjaya.

2010-01-09T00:40:00.007+08:00

Balik rumah lagi minggu ni. Damn! Ape ni, elok2 dah plan taknak balik, kenapa balik jugak? Waaaa. Tak dapat tahan godaan yang datang bertubi-tubi utk balik. Ayah suruh balik, pagi2 dah call suruh balik hari ni. Tak bagi support betul, haha cannot blame him. Taknak balik sbb nak study (kononnya la). Kalau kat rumah, mmg takkan sentuh buku walaupun bawak balik byk mana pun. Buat penat je bwk beg berat2 naik KTM.

Haihh. Muka Mayang memang tak pernah kelihatan di KTT during weekends. Setiap minggu balik. Hello, exam lagi dua minggu, tak sedar diri lagi ke. Taknak tengok lagi perkataan FAIL dalam slip result. Ouch sakit sakit, belum tunjuk lagi dekat parents. Nak lepas cutting point, nak PASS, nak dapat 13 points. Boleh ke? InsyaAlllah.

Minggu ni kat KTT agak boringla. Class cancel je memanjang. Satu hari cuma ade dua tiga jam class je. Ni semua sebab MQA yg datang melawat. Lecturer semua busy, semua ketakutan, semua benda nak nampak perfect je. Wahh penting gila kot benda ni, hopefully dapat iktiraf, kalau tak mana nak letak budak2 A-Level ni :/ Kat belakang apartment ktorg sekarang ni setiap petang mesti ade lembu2 yg datang utk makan. Hari tu pernah kira, ade 84 ekor tuuu. Boleh jadi kaya kalau jual. Dua jam makan pun tak kenyang2, lpas tu kene halau dgn tuannya suruh balik. Kesian. Okay, pointless sebenarnya.

Nak pergi study, buku Biology depan mata, tak terusik dari tadi. Tapi dah malam, better off to bed. Esok baru start yeay.I'm gonna start working my brain again tomorrow.
Walau ape2pun, still gembira ade kat rumah :)

Hello 2010!

2009-12-31T23:53:00.004+08:00

7 minutes left for the year 2009. omg, 2009 is coming to its end! I am not ready for 2010. I had gone through a lot this year. It has been a great journey for me, and I am sure, for us all. It's my first year of college, yes, I'm finally done with high school. It's the year where I've made a lot of new friends, and tightens the bond with the old ones. It is also the year where I've found someone and I lost that someone who used to be a really close friend.

2009 brings a lot of memories to me. Some of it is good, and some of it is bad. I've learned a lot about myself this year, and I'd like to improve myself more in many ways. I've learned about people, their attitudes, and many more. I've learned to accept people for who they are, though I'd still be less caring if I don't like them. Accepting doesn't mean you have to like him/her.

This year, I've found that people are not always like what you expect them to be. At one point you might like someone, and at the other, you despise that person. This year, I've also found that people might act all nice in front of you, but they'd trash you like your the most disgusting creature walking on this planet behind your back. I've learned to accept that, too. I cannot please everyone.

I've also learned that I can't judge people at the first sight. Someone might seems like he/she is talking to you, only because he/she has something that you don't, and that pisses you off. But as it turns out, that someone is actually nice and sincere about making friends with you. In other words, I've learned to not judge a book by it's cover. (:

I have no idea what 2010 might bring, but I hope it will tightens the bond between me and my family, and of course, between me and my friends. I hope I will make it until 2011, insyaAllah. (:

I also hope that 2010 will bring a lot of happiness and joy into my life. And of course, I'd like to maintain my grades, and I'd like to pass the cut-off point in all my examinations especially AS.

But of course, in order to achieve all of this, I will have to go through a lot of obstacles, WE all will have to go through a lot of obstacles. But I'm sure it is going to be worth it. Hey, no pain, no gain.

Therefore, as to wrap things up. I am hereby would like to apologise for all my wrong doings. If I've trashed you, talked about you behind your back, ate your biscuits, drank your water, if I've done any kind of offensive behaviour, I am truly sorry. I will try my best not to screw anything up in the year 2010. I'd like to treasure everyone that I have.

I hope 2010 will bring more luck to myself, my family, and of course, us all. May it be a great year. Happy New Year. Oh, great fireworks tonight, love the colours :)

WELCOME 2010 !

How pathetic.

2009-12-20T15:37:00.005+08:00

Why would people say that he/she misses you but he/she doesn't even make an attempt to contact you.

I've finally got it all figured out. All I know is, you are done, finish and gone. I plan on turning you down while laughing in your face and making you feel rotten for having me wait so long for you to come around.

I'm just a shade of grey

2009-12-18T22:30:00.002+08:00

I'm just tired of being told how much I suck. Don't start editing my life just because you're not happy with yours. Back at you.

I am..

2009-12-15T17:06:00.002+08:00

depressed and disappointed. I feel so stupid. I'm not blaming anyone because I've told you before, I am going to blame me. Just got my result. From this to this, I now got..... haih.. Don't ask me questions in class because I'd be depressed to answer. Okay exaggerate pulak.

What is happening to me? Maybe I played too much. Haih.

15

2009-12-13T00:37:00.005+08:00

Going back to KTT tomorrow - that's less than 24 hours! So, what awaits me for my second semester? AS! Nice.

I'm going back this weekend, as usual, I'll be at home every single weekend :) Oh, but my Mom said she'll introduce a new rule where I can only go back home once a month! Haih I hope that won't happen. I know she's joking and I know she'll miss me when I'm away. She won't do that. Haha. Till then.

time table tukar ke?